Assembly & Attachment

-(2:00 AM) Eat 0.32 g of Psilocybe Cubensis stems

I’m basically starting off VERY VERY light with my experimentation with the Lord of the Mushroom Kingdom again. I want to dip my toes in the psychedelic waters, familiarize myself with the body high, the subtle in-betweens, and the pre-trip anxiety that jumps up which just from these two small doses seems fairly non-existent. I wish i could grow these little guys on my own. Create my own crop of these little libraries of knowledge and continue to do weekly or monthly sessions of seeing through their perspective. Learning.

I realized that no one should have any fear of that place the mushrooms take you. They look out for you, take care of you, there’s something about us that they enjoy, and our brains were built to chemically dance with them as serotonin sits back and lets the psilocin take over the neuronal firing in your brain. Fear is illogical here. Love is effervescent. Relax and let go.

The rest of the night while the shrooms were subtly invading my perception, i stood in the bathroom noticing how damn bright the lighting was in there, how i could input a task to be carried out by my visual awareness with thought commands and pick specific shapes out of the soup of garbled reality stuff, the giant uncarved block of Reality… “notice all the flowers on the wall paper” … “pick out all things green” … “focus on anything blue” … then i did the usual where i’m amazed at my reflection and the depth of the mirror. How can i see myself? This magical substance throws back to you an image that is supposed to be you, i don’t understand it, but i guess that is me over there. I’m hanging out with myself on the other side of that invisible forcefield. Unbelievable.

Then i light a candle and a coconut incense stick in my room. Laying down, i watch the smoke dance in the candlelight as it formed into a shadowy tornado on the ceiling that gusted its darkness into the low-light, fighting for control. So symbolic, a metaphor for good and evil right in front of me, secretively symbiotic. The shadows playing on the wall, the short visuals behind my eyes as i drift off into my head, “Beautiful Things are coming”… they said. “Beautiful Things…”

-Those shadows crawled from the ceiling towards the Light where they devoured me…-

Cartoon Characters

The cartoon Salvia Beings applaud my arrival into Second Reality. Expecting me this time.

Cartoon Characters

They wait for me on the other side

Of the paper-plane waves inside my eyes,

Waving their jelly-like arms

From their circular bodies,

They expect me.

With one eye open

Attached to that spinning wheel,

I ride their magic carnival ride

Until the train conductor signals me

To lift the bar from this seated cart.

“Your ride is over sir,

Exit your old body from the left

And enter your new vessel on the right.”

Make no mistake my friends,

This surely was a concrete site.

–Cristoff McGroff–

The Reality Weaver Spins My little Human story into Existence.

An Unexpected Rocket-Blast!

This is a matter of health. Psilocybe Roots me deep within the Earth.

• (11:27) 0.40 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis lemon Tek’d into a tea, soaking.
• (11:40) Start drinking warm tea.
• (11:55) Finish sipping this concoction, looking at Pablo Amaringo artwork.
• (12:10) Experiencing a wave of relaxed energetic contradictory tiredness, an overwhelming sensation to close the eyes. Listening to First Temple album from Closure in Moscow amazed at my hand’s ability to write these little remarks onto the paper. What am i even trying to accomplish? A clammy sweatiness is present on the palms, cold hands, chills in body, normal perceptual transitionary symptoms.
• (12:16) Amazed that this is only 0.40 grams. I am feeling body/motor control swaying between some jittery take over force. I put on Deuter’s album “Garden of the Gods” and things feel more in place.
• I suddenly feel the urge to let the spiritual being within me express itself through innate prayers, motions, and yogic postures i have never done before. It over-takes my body and i live as one dancing with the energies.
• (1:10) I sat on my floor mumbling, stuck in headspace. The music was filled with beauty, with clarity i had forgotten. I lay in my bed, still going up. Consumed in thought. Memories recounted of the ancient sea creatures that filled my dream water this morning. I was desperately fleeing their presence, two sharks with great big teeth, eyeing me up. Hungry. I was only a newly born fish in this ocean, trying to evade their games by jumping onto land. Flopping, i grew lungs and became human, watching the stare of the hungry sharks from the rocky cliffs above the seaside. Safe.
• I felt sharp pain in my lower left stomach, deep within my skin, i tried to heal it with thoughts, with sounds inside my visual matrix, but i could only think of bess, swarms of honey bees sucking the venom from my limbs, searching for the next flower to float to after they’d drink my soulless nectar.
• This pain mostly subsided, i tranced out behind closed eyes downloading information, making wild connections between data previously left in the mud of my subconscious gel. I drifted into more half-remembered dreams, listening to these alien voices chant knowledge inside my eardrums. They gave me back my control over my body after they took the time to fix it from inside. They required full focus and attention until now, their work was done.
• I bathed in the bliss of the comedown. The awareness of this enhanced mental connection and relationship with all Life. I am fully taken by how short this rocket-ship blastoff to peak was. How could less than an hour and a half duration of time hold so much mental function? Adding Lemon to the mix takes the mushroom trip to a much higher plateau than i thought possible. This is the same feeling i had when using them last winter by myself in this giant house alone with 2-3 gram doses and no lemon tea.
• An odd thought kept replaying somewhere in that chaotic swarm of bees. That i was to impregnate a gorgeous woman when the time was right, and it would be in our destiny to birth the most beautiful child the human race has ever seen. A child who’s DNA would be the first to naturally evolve into the next step of Human potential, the bridge to our evolutionary transcendence of space and time as physical beings. I envisioned this within the opening of my third eye, beaming into my brain with the most brilliant set of technicolored lights. The fear i had at the beginning of this vastly evolving trip into hyperspace was swallowed whole by closed eyes and reassurance.
• I am still heavy eyed, in wonder, and at peace. Reading from the ancient mycelial manuscript, they throw me little pieces and bits of encoded futures, secrets long forgotten within the matrix of the human DNA. How lucky am i to be the voice of their manifesting thoughts? For they enjoy having play time with the human mind
• (1:50) Existence has this ever glowing warm vibe to it. Neither positive nor negative, in a state of being where everything just simply “IS.” No hate, only love, warm effervescent love. Awareness & enhancement. Why can we not see through this perspective at all hours of the night? Is there a way to gel this beautiful gift into the human mind and solidify its teachings into a new way of Life? I am at peace right now. A peace that radiates into the environment like a glowing lantern. I will carry it with me, bringing truth to those that fear this kind of mental clarity, curing their false understanding of the Alien Medicine right beneath our feet hiding in cow pastures, rekindling our lost connection with the Earth Mother.

–Cristoff McGroff–

Psilocybin & Neurogenesis

*0.30 grams of Psilocybe Cubensis

• (11:30) ingestion begins
• (12:30) wondering if it’s worth it to try translating any trip/experience into words “while” it’s happening. Words are products of the aftermath. To enjoy the moment, to watch the self-replicating dots of light dance with the circular void is too beautiful to turn away from with pen and paper. To listen to the metallic extra-dimensional qualities of music as it pulsates into my eardrums with enhanced perception, this IS the experience, words ARE the aftermath.

Psilocybin & Neurogenesis

Been interested in the idea/research i’ve been reading lately that psilocybin is a pure catalyst of neurogenesis within the human brain, creating/birthing new neurons and pathways to linking experience and memory within the animal subject. I question whether more conscious learning (even physical calculation of new brain cells) would take place at lower daily doses (possibly spaced out by 2 or 3 days in between dosing) or if higher more “heroic” doses would give the user more of a healing experience without control of his mental mouse clicker at doses of 2-5 dried grams.

Let me put this in a question. Does the Psilocybin Mushroom have a more natural healing process within the subject at higher doses? Or is it possible to physically alter brain chemistry/neurogenesis at sub-psychotropic levels by daily dosing small amounts of the chemical like a sewage nootropic? The idea doesn’t seem too far fetched to me, but over time would the brain get so used to the input of Psilocybin that it would become dependent upon it? Would the normal serotonin-induced reality we inhabit lose its appeal or would Psilocybin enhance one’s ability to cope with the social/physical world in a much clearer realm of being? This could birth/emerge a new mindset that is more beneficial for the optimal survival and lifestyle of our race on this planet in our steps forward towards evolutionary transcendence. We must seek truth.

————-it was like i opened my eyes for the very first time————

Hello There Mushrooms

Original Journal Entry

Hello There Mushrooms

• (5:30) Measured out 0.60 grams of Psilocybe Cubensis caps and shake at end of the bag i never finished up, Lemon Tek’d into tea.
• (8:30) The Come Down. I saw a mermaid swim out of the darkness of my inner mind. She was filled with beautiful energy. They taught me of colors there, the Lot of them. There were wooden trees pieced apart and made to be morphed into different languages. I wrote a codex there. An encoded calligraphy of symbols that spawned sound and art work. I had a hole that ran through my bones, wrapped around countless layers of skin. This is me. Accept it or Disconnect it.

Psilocybin & Glossolalia 

The entire trip revolved around the ideas of language and the proper use of the human voice. I sat in front of the fireplace watching the dark blue curtains wiggle and dance with the music. Colors separated from each other like sections of puzzle pieces, each creating their own pattern of circular movement, rotating in and out of each other like the entire house was a giant boat on rough waters.

Mermaids swam behind my eyelids. Offered to teach me how colors work so that i may use them in my quest for finding truth in this world. They surrounded me with beautiful energy. I was in my element, feeling my skin, proud to inhabit this body. Spontaneous outbursts of sound would erupt like a volcano from deep within my tummy. I had no control over the matter. It felt good to make these high frequency tones, vibrating the experience around me with those every bursts inflicting the airwaves into wind tunnels of motion.

Talking was my main concern. Playing with my voice box felt so fresh and new, as if i’d forgotten all previous knowledge of the English language and was creating my own set of noises without limitation. I didn’t even have to strain to make those wild cries, they existed outside of my body floating around the air and i would decide to grab one with my mental awareness every now and again. Then without hesitation, my body would take the form of the sound and physically become it. I didn’t quite understand exactly what i was doing, but it felt super natural!

Time went on. More messages from the Mushroom Mother about reconnecting to her view of the human race, remembering lessons to consult with her about our future on this earth before we, “eat the sandwich,” as Joe Rogan would say. We must re-evaluate our purpose and find new meaning in the time warp. She assured me that color would be my ally moving forward from this existence of Black & White chains, that my pure intentions and big heart would carry me to safety if i let them guide me.

A Matter of Minutes: time liquified into space tunnels

Too much had just taken place in that small cut out chunk of five minutes. The smoke filled the room and that familiar sensation took over again. The floodgates opened up and suddenly i’m hyper-aware, tearing apart into every molecule and cell that make up my reality. I am not sure if it’s just my body that splits apart or if i just become aware of the truth that the physical room i’m “inside” of is also something i’m constantly feeling with my senses, not just my fleshy human body that appears separate in our usual limited awareness. Everything visually in front of me is part of me like a giant wall that i’m pressed up against in some trick being played on my consciousness.  Suddenly, the feeling that all the air has been sucked out of this vacuum packed two dimensional image i’m running through inside a giant cog of wristwatch mechanics is all too overwhelming.

Awareness of every molecular bubble and cell at super enhanced intervals of slug slowed memory takes me forward. I physically feel all of them at once. My normal dull single pointed humanistic daily waking sense of awareness where i find myself experiencing/viewing the world from somewhere in my head behind my eyes and between my ears goes all topsy-turvy. This Salvia induced state must be useful, giving me a view of myself from a completely new perspective that i never thought possible. I continue to navigate the walls and waves of conveyor belt beings, yet i find no true spirit or voice leading me to anywhere specific. Just images of my consciousness sphere floating through a dark void.

I keep trying to follow my flow of thoughts from somewhere far away, to remember how to produce thoughts as i do not think thoughts exist in this “Second Reality” we inhabit with this secret doorway to the other side, only images and feelings. I’m desperately trying to follow the rope from the top of my head i let down into this deep hole in my existence to find my way back as it was extremely important for me to hold on to my imaginative inanimate thoughts as that oceanic wave of pop outs revealed themselves to me, yet i could not think so i could not ask them questions of what it was they were doing over there all the time when i wasn’t aware of them or where i had come from or how the hell it came to be that i got myself into this mess.

The wind rush of body feelings took over at that point as they stared at me from their distant darkness. Like entering a wind tunnel, a portal through space & time re-opens at the exhale of this nonexistent magical air. A gateway to another way of Life. How can i bring ideas back from that mysterious place? How can i learn from their cartoonish intelligence?

In a matter of minutes my normal 9 to 5 mundane human mind was transformed and warped into magnificent wonder by the pure possibilities of this plant. Why is this able to happen? What is the proper use of Salvia Divinorum and how do we use it to fulfill our Earthbound destinies on this spec of floating rock within this vast galaxy. Oh great Shepherdess, you inspire me to continue my journey into the unknown.