Assembly & Attachment

-(2:00 AM) Eat 0.32 g of Psilocybe Cubensis stems

I’m basically starting off VERY VERY light with my experimentation with the Lord of the Mushroom Kingdom again. I want to dip my toes in the psychedelic waters, familiarize myself with the body high, the subtle in-betweens, and the pre-trip anxiety that jumps up which just from these two small doses seems fairly non-existent. I wish i could grow these little guys on my own. Create my own crop of these little libraries of knowledge and continue to do weekly or monthly sessions of seeing through their perspective. Learning.

I realized that no one should have any fear of that place the mushrooms take you. They look out for you, take care of you, there’s something about us that they enjoy, and our brains were built to chemically dance with them as serotonin sits back and lets the psilocin take over the neuronal firing in your brain. Fear is illogical here. Love is effervescent. Relax and let go.

The rest of the night while the shrooms were subtly invading my perception, i stood in the bathroom noticing how damn bright the lighting was in there, how i could input a task to be carried out by my visual awareness with thought commands and pick specific shapes out of the soup of garbled reality stuff, the giant uncarved block of Reality… “notice all the flowers on the wall paper” … “pick out all things green” … “focus on anything blue” … then i did the usual where i’m amazed at my reflection and the depth of the mirror. How can i see myself? This magical substance throws back to you an image that is supposed to be you, i don’t understand it, but i guess that is me over there. I’m hanging out with myself on the other side of that invisible forcefield. Unbelievable.

Then i light a candle and a coconut incense stick in my room. Laying down, i watch the smoke dance in the candlelight as it formed into a shadowy tornado on the ceiling that gusted its darkness into the low-light, fighting for control. So symbolic, a metaphor for good and evil right in front of me, secretively symbiotic. The shadows playing on the wall, the short visuals behind my eyes as i drift off into my head, “Beautiful Things are coming”… they said. “Beautiful Things…”

-Those shadows crawled from the ceiling towards the Light where they devoured me…-

Salvia Vs Marijuana

There was a faint clicking sound in the background of my thoughts as i stared into the mirror brushing my teeth… i’ve been trying to figure out for years why the high i used to get from marijuana changed from fun/carefree to paranoid/anxiety driven experiences. I could never pinpoint an exact event where my mind’s biological makeup altered to push me away from this plant. Then it hit me.

Nearing the end of high school, i drove a group of friends to West Virginia where i bought my first blue glass bong (Blastoise) at our first visit to a smoke shop and stumbled upon a tiny circular plastic container with a 10x or 15x version called Salvia, this was our first introduction to each other. With no knowledge of what it was or how to do it, we watched each other giggle, laugh uncontrollably, mumble nonsense, grab at the air, and look off into the distance “through” reality with a face that resembled pure fear as we went too far down the cartoon tunnel towards our cartoon bodies away from our physical world here on Earth.

Was this the point when my entire relationship with marijuana had been unknowingly twisted upside down upon itself? Had there been some type of information downloaded into my subconscious that i was unaware of while these chaotic “mush-too-powerful-doses” visions from the extract produced only faint glitchy memories of being tossed into that infinite unknown void?

I’m fairly certain that this may have been where my being experienced a crossover from one brain hemisphere to the opposite matrix of numerical interpretation. The two substances are like divorced parents that you must choose between. Never able to see both of them in one space, but only able to run to one or the other, only able to love one while distancing yourself from the memories of the former. I lay here in wonder as i wait for the sun to rise.

DMT: First Encounters

Dimethyltryptamine, Proof that this Place is Made of Magic.

Proof this World is Made of Magic

The first hit was just a mild form of déjà vu where I was reliving that exact moment over and over and over with this waterfall of molecules rushing into my brain from my spine as this low and yet high pitched buzzing encompassed my audial perception while the room got infinitely smaller and kind of morphed into spinning geometrical shapes that I could barely comprehend.

Then I went out onto our second story balcony with a friend, I could barely see in the darkness of the full moon behind the railing shadowing the bong, but my last memory was of my friend shining the light of his phone on it as I inhaled and saying, “be careful dude, you don’t want to go too far!” And instantly I knew what I had done. I shattered my human existence and broke through time. The real déjà vu hit me, moments in repetition, I could see the objects, the blocks of visual reality glimmering and coming to life in sliced slow motion as they came alive, I had slowed myself down to the point that a single second was a near eternity, they kept reforming themselves into the shapes of my friend and the room around us. Like the inside of a giant super computer they were intelligent metallic shapes that had life, I could view myself and them from every angle of that space we inhabited. I could not believe my eyes. My mind was nowhere to be found and i was under the belief that when I smoked that giant hit, my friend’s reality was stemming from my mind and that he was experiencing this event the same way I was experiencing it. I believed we were both of the understanding that I myself was the dreamer of this entire “reality” that I thought myself into as this character Named Christopher Reed and that I was waking up into the greater reality which was also just another dream.

I felt so pure, yet so fearful that I would never be back to the mundane daily routines of human life with my family, that I’d already begun to miss how boring it was in that house sometimes and that I’d never have the chance to go back to it now that it had faded with my waking dream. I believed my friend was sad at realizing he was just a figment of my own imagination and that the life he thought he owned was only a projection of myself as another person inside my mind to keep my lonesome consciousness entertained with a tiny trick it played on itself. I was lost in shapes and motionless patterns, but I came back.

I sat there the rest of the night wondering how that place can exist in my mind and how this place I normally consider reality can exist at the same time when they are so different, two sides of the same coin. I haven’t been back to that place in about a year now and looking back on it I know that Terence McKenna was right in saying that “when you’re ready someone in your reality will bring this magic powder into your magic room and they will fill up your magic pipe and you will smoke this magic substance that makes you wake up for a single moment to remember just how infinite and complex this state of being truly is. ” … or something to that extent.

Someday you will wake up, and you will have a hard time believing that all of this this was only a dream.

Cartoon Characters

The cartoon Salvia Beings applaud my arrival into Second Reality. Expecting me this time.

Cartoon Characters

They wait for me on the other side

Of the paper-plane waves inside my eyes,

Waving their jelly-like arms

From their circular bodies,

They expect me.

With one eye open

Attached to that spinning wheel,

I ride their magic carnival ride

Until the train conductor signals me

To lift the bar from this seated cart.

“Your ride is over sir,

Exit your old body from the left

And enter your new vessel on the right.”

Make no mistake my friends,

This surely was a concrete site.

–Cristoff McGroff–

The Reality Weaver Spins My little Human story into Existence.

Lady Divinorum

The Salvia Beings await my return as i transform into one of the Face’s in the wall of their circular space tunnels.

Lady Divinorum

I started with the lighting of a candle and a short prayer to the Shepherdess, asking her to kindly guide my positive intentions with the sanctity of her heart as i put my consciousness in her hands. The meditation would last an hour, as i packed my first bowl of plain leaf, witnessing the last drops of sunlight dissipate into the darkness out of the corner of my window where my brightly colored mushroom tapestry was nudged over just enough to see the tips of the trees outside.

I took my first inhalation. Deep. Just enough to re-familiarize myself with the Salvinorin Landscape as the glowing static came on brighter somewhere in the distance of my imagination, flip-flopping my body to a secondary state of awareness as the inside of my mind bloomed into full focus on center stage as if i put it underneath a microscope of 1000x enhancement.

Bridges were being built. Those cartoon-like circular people warmly welcomed me, expected me, were excited to see me and dance with my consciousness yet again after being apart from each other for so long. I missed their presence filling my viewfinder. They touched upon many of the topics we’d previously went over at length in past journeys to their world, but like a favorite song or movie that never gets old, i enjoyed hearing their stories and Truths all over again.

They seemed to tell me many stories of the same themes i’d remembered from last time, but in vastly different ways and manners than before. Things like how they know all about the journey of the human body from birth to death because they had all been here. They came from this place and completed this stage of their own journey already. They were held to an ancient sworn oath that they could not reveal the true answers to life’s mysteries here on Earth for that is the nature of being human. To never have a final destination, but to keep moving on our way in search of something forgotten. A living memory. Always in pursuit, in constant wonder, never to find solid answers in these broken vessels.

I sat there astonished at these upheavals of thought from the depths of my being. Was i producing these statements or was Lady Divinorum carefully guiding me? I could sense she had taken a liking to me. She was peaceful and agreed to help.

The effects were wearing off. I filled another bowl and kept the lighter burning the whole time until all the plant material incinerated to a white glow of hot ash in the pit of my pipe. This time was stronger, eyes closed, waves of tiles washed underneath me in that dark void i was brought to where the inner workings of my mind was laid out before me.

This feeling i had was extremely peculiar. I felt a powerful surge of energy. Was it coming from within or entering me from some place outside of my body? I did not know. What i did know was how to control and use it. This was some type of ancient ability the human mind was produced to use but had been lost like the City of Atlantis to the infinite gears of time, once understood by our ancestors now a memory forgotten.

This technique and focus was and is absolutely crucial to our evolution on this planet, in this stage of our collective soul. I did not wonder this, i knew all of it to be fact. My awareness became super enhanced, it went to the middle-back of my brain in some Room that felt empty inside my skull and yet completely full, being massaged as it solidified my thoughts and energy into this force/pressure being collected to a single needle point inside my mind like a miniature sun.

A light switch was turned on in there. I could feel its positive vibrations altering my subconscious world. “Mushrooms connect you to the viewpoint of an ancient Alien race, Marijuana disconnects you from your True Self in a very negative manner (for me anyways), but this… this place is home.”

An Unexpected Rocket-Blast!

This is a matter of health. Psilocybe Roots me deep within the Earth.

• (11:27) 0.40 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis lemon Tek’d into a tea, soaking.
• (11:40) Start drinking warm tea.
• (11:55) Finish sipping this concoction, looking at Pablo Amaringo artwork.
• (12:10) Experiencing a wave of relaxed energetic contradictory tiredness, an overwhelming sensation to close the eyes. Listening to First Temple album from Closure in Moscow amazed at my hand’s ability to write these little remarks onto the paper. What am i even trying to accomplish? A clammy sweatiness is present on the palms, cold hands, chills in body, normal perceptual transitionary symptoms.
• (12:16) Amazed that this is only 0.40 grams. I am feeling body/motor control swaying between some jittery take over force. I put on Deuter’s album “Garden of the Gods” and things feel more in place.
• I suddenly feel the urge to let the spiritual being within me express itself through innate prayers, motions, and yogic postures i have never done before. It over-takes my body and i live as one dancing with the energies.
• (1:10) I sat on my floor mumbling, stuck in headspace. The music was filled with beauty, with clarity i had forgotten. I lay in my bed, still going up. Consumed in thought. Memories recounted of the ancient sea creatures that filled my dream water this morning. I was desperately fleeing their presence, two sharks with great big teeth, eyeing me up. Hungry. I was only a newly born fish in this ocean, trying to evade their games by jumping onto land. Flopping, i grew lungs and became human, watching the stare of the hungry sharks from the rocky cliffs above the seaside. Safe.
• I felt sharp pain in my lower left stomach, deep within my skin, i tried to heal it with thoughts, with sounds inside my visual matrix, but i could only think of bess, swarms of honey bees sucking the venom from my limbs, searching for the next flower to float to after they’d drink my soulless nectar.
• This pain mostly subsided, i tranced out behind closed eyes downloading information, making wild connections between data previously left in the mud of my subconscious gel. I drifted into more half-remembered dreams, listening to these alien voices chant knowledge inside my eardrums. They gave me back my control over my body after they took the time to fix it from inside. They required full focus and attention until now, their work was done.
• I bathed in the bliss of the comedown. The awareness of this enhanced mental connection and relationship with all Life. I am fully taken by how short this rocket-ship blastoff to peak was. How could less than an hour and a half duration of time hold so much mental function? Adding Lemon to the mix takes the mushroom trip to a much higher plateau than i thought possible. This is the same feeling i had when using them last winter by myself in this giant house alone with 2-3 gram doses and no lemon tea.
• An odd thought kept replaying somewhere in that chaotic swarm of bees. That i was to impregnate a gorgeous woman when the time was right, and it would be in our destiny to birth the most beautiful child the human race has ever seen. A child who’s DNA would be the first to naturally evolve into the next step of Human potential, the bridge to our evolutionary transcendence of space and time as physical beings. I envisioned this within the opening of my third eye, beaming into my brain with the most brilliant set of technicolored lights. The fear i had at the beginning of this vastly evolving trip into hyperspace was swallowed whole by closed eyes and reassurance.
• I am still heavy eyed, in wonder, and at peace. Reading from the ancient mycelial manuscript, they throw me little pieces and bits of encoded futures, secrets long forgotten within the matrix of the human DNA. How lucky am i to be the voice of their manifesting thoughts? For they enjoy having play time with the human mind
• (1:50) Existence has this ever glowing warm vibe to it. Neither positive nor negative, in a state of being where everything just simply “IS.” No hate, only love, warm effervescent love. Awareness & enhancement. Why can we not see through this perspective at all hours of the night? Is there a way to gel this beautiful gift into the human mind and solidify its teachings into a new way of Life? I am at peace right now. A peace that radiates into the environment like a glowing lantern. I will carry it with me, bringing truth to those that fear this kind of mental clarity, curing their false understanding of the Alien Medicine right beneath our feet hiding in cow pastures, rekindling our lost connection with the Earth Mother.

–Cristoff McGroff–

The Chocolate Mushroom Candy: Progress Through Fear

The subject finds himself inside the Mushroom Mind, encountering dark forces of fear within himself.

The Chocolate Mushroom Candy

• (4:40) Weeks ago Mira gave me this orange topped chocolate Psilocybin treat that apparently has an entire eighth mixed into it, weighing out to a whopping 31.2 grams total. Since I am cautious, i will cut this bad boy into 1/4’s and see how strong the batch is before taking too much of it at one time.
• (4:50) Measure out 8.4 g of the candy, get hot water ready on the stove with a spoonful of fresh lemon juice to mix together and melt down into a nice thick paste.
• (5:05) Ingestion begins after soaking in warm water, ready to begin this beautiful experience into hyperspace.
• (7:34) The videos, the writings, the drawings, they’re all postcards of the experience itself, but never touch upon the true teachings unveiled in that mystical state. I thought for a second that the video from today’s trip was lost due to my computer running out of energy, but thank the lord it was saved! I deeply feared that if i lose that video i would lose all the progress that i had made within myself during the trip, which is absolutely preposterous! Yet i still felt that very real momentary fear.

Baseline’d By 9: Progress Through Fear

So Much progress is made through fear and like clockwork i always fear the onset of the trip, wondering “where will you take me?!” but it always ends up taking me exactly where i needed to go. To thoughts that i needed to think and memories/visions that happen to be extremely important to my progress RIGHT NOW. “How much is too much?” i ask. Do i go deeper and deeper? Will it be worth it? WIll the progress show within my conversations? Within the way i look at people? Will they be able to feel the energy i’m harboring inside myself? Can a price be put on that type of beauty? Can any law truly be justified that tell us that we aren’t allowed to experience that kind of bliss? How do i explain to the World that this is Mushroom Medicine and we’re all sick from lack of communication? How do i become a man balanced between two worlds and not fail my own expectations of myself?

It’s the artwork. They gave me visions. Draw these, take the brush and splash the paper with your liquidated heart. Let no man stand in the way of you and your Dreams, fight with Love and only as a final solution use your fists to strike back when you’re backed in a corner. Imagine the energy within you surfacing like the intertwined Roots of the strongest tree branches being taken by the wandering wind. Become Yourself. Find the fear and wave to it as you float beyond it. Smiling that tombstone’d grin.

Psilocybin & Neurogenesis

*0.30 grams of Psilocybe Cubensis

• (11:30) ingestion begins
• (12:30) wondering if it’s worth it to try translating any trip/experience into words “while” it’s happening. Words are products of the aftermath. To enjoy the moment, to watch the self-replicating dots of light dance with the circular void is too beautiful to turn away from with pen and paper. To listen to the metallic extra-dimensional qualities of music as it pulsates into my eardrums with enhanced perception, this IS the experience, words ARE the aftermath.

Psilocybin & Neurogenesis

Been interested in the idea/research i’ve been reading lately that psilocybin is a pure catalyst of neurogenesis within the human brain, creating/birthing new neurons and pathways to linking experience and memory within the animal subject. I question whether more conscious learning (even physical calculation of new brain cells) would take place at lower daily doses (possibly spaced out by 2 or 3 days in between dosing) or if higher more “heroic” doses would give the user more of a healing experience without control of his mental mouse clicker at doses of 2-5 dried grams.

Let me put this in a question. Does the Psilocybin Mushroom have a more natural healing process within the subject at higher doses? Or is it possible to physically alter brain chemistry/neurogenesis at sub-psychotropic levels by daily dosing small amounts of the chemical like a sewage nootropic? The idea doesn’t seem too far fetched to me, but over time would the brain get so used to the input of Psilocybin that it would become dependent upon it? Would the normal serotonin-induced reality we inhabit lose its appeal or would Psilocybin enhance one’s ability to cope with the social/physical world in a much clearer realm of being? This could birth/emerge a new mindset that is more beneficial for the optimal survival and lifestyle of our race on this planet in our steps forward towards evolutionary transcendence. We must seek truth.

————-it was like i opened my eyes for the very first time————

Hello There Mushrooms

Original Journal Entry

Hello There Mushrooms

• (5:30) Measured out 0.60 grams of Psilocybe Cubensis caps and shake at end of the bag i never finished up, Lemon Tek’d into tea.
• (8:30) The Come Down. I saw a mermaid swim out of the darkness of my inner mind. She was filled with beautiful energy. They taught me of colors there, the Lot of them. There were wooden trees pieced apart and made to be morphed into different languages. I wrote a codex there. An encoded calligraphy of symbols that spawned sound and art work. I had a hole that ran through my bones, wrapped around countless layers of skin. This is me. Accept it or Disconnect it.

Psilocybin & Glossolalia 

The entire trip revolved around the ideas of language and the proper use of the human voice. I sat in front of the fireplace watching the dark blue curtains wiggle and dance with the music. Colors separated from each other like sections of puzzle pieces, each creating their own pattern of circular movement, rotating in and out of each other like the entire house was a giant boat on rough waters.

Mermaids swam behind my eyelids. Offered to teach me how colors work so that i may use them in my quest for finding truth in this world. They surrounded me with beautiful energy. I was in my element, feeling my skin, proud to inhabit this body. Spontaneous outbursts of sound would erupt like a volcano from deep within my tummy. I had no control over the matter. It felt good to make these high frequency tones, vibrating the experience around me with those every bursts inflicting the airwaves into wind tunnels of motion.

Talking was my main concern. Playing with my voice box felt so fresh and new, as if i’d forgotten all previous knowledge of the English language and was creating my own set of noises without limitation. I didn’t even have to strain to make those wild cries, they existed outside of my body floating around the air and i would decide to grab one with my mental awareness every now and again. Then without hesitation, my body would take the form of the sound and physically become it. I didn’t quite understand exactly what i was doing, but it felt super natural!

Time went on. More messages from the Mushroom Mother about reconnecting to her view of the human race, remembering lessons to consult with her about our future on this earth before we, “eat the sandwich,” as Joe Rogan would say. We must re-evaluate our purpose and find new meaning in the time warp. She assured me that color would be my ally moving forward from this existence of Black & White chains, that my pure intentions and big heart would carry me to safety if i let them guide me.